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Be the Boss of your Anger

Someone is walking in front of you with their eyes glued to the phone. Suddenly, they stop and you almost barrel into them. Your fists clench, a wave of fury washes over you. How does one small event trigger such strong anger?

Healthy anger tells us our boundaries have been violated and seeks constructive resolution. Disproportionate anger is anchored much deeper than this. It’s like having a mental pole stuck in our core, which when struck vibrates through our whole body. It triggers feelings that we experienced a long time ago, that have built up over time, and that were never fully processed. Disproportionate anger is often our defence to feeling threatened, disrespected, or rejected. We come out to protect ourselves and fight. Our responses based on disproportionate anger are at best unconstructive and at worst detrimental to ourselves and the people around us.s

Anger needs to be heard. It is often formed and stored in a younger version of ourselves based on experiences we have as children or teenagers. Tune in with your anger – how does it feel physically? Does a memory come to mind with a young version of you experiencing this anger? Imagine your adult self in conversation with this younger you. Why are they so angry? What do they need from the world around them? What do they need from you?

Dialogues like this can help us to gain clarity on our feelings and our strong emotional reactions. Therapy can guide this process and go beyond it to let the younger versions of ourselves release the experiences that formed our angry defence. Understanding your anger puts you in control of it.

Releasing your anger improves your well-being and echoes positively through your career and relationships. To dive deeper, book a consultation please make an appointment with a specialist doctor at 2715 4577, via email or at


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